Today’s Wish List

1. I want to take a bath. Full bath tub with bubbles. I want to read a book in the tub with good-smelling candles lit all around. I want 10 smelly candles around me.

2. I want to come out of the shower smelling fabulous. I want to love showering. I want to take long showers with yummy smelling shampoo, conditioner and body wash. Body wash! I want to use body wash and a loofah.

3. I want my husband to smell good. I want him to wear a manly, yummy cologne. I want him to come out of the shower smelling good - from those dumb, “manly” gendered body washes, shampoos and conditioners.

4. I want to lay on my leather couch for more than 5 minutes without having to clean it first.

5. I want to love on my dog. I want to pet him without having to instantly wash my hands. I want to snuggle with him without worrying about his allergens.

6. I want my baby boy to not get skin rashes every few weeks. I want to feel guilt-free about passing on my genes to him.

7. I want to be girly. I want to wear all the makeup. I want to have bright, dark or weird-colored lips. I want to wear fun eyeshadows. I want to be able to use real makeup remover instead of Aquaphor ointment to remove my eyeliner.

No need for a list of 10. I’m not in the mood to be contrived.

Scratching is Bad – Even a Toddler Gets It

I’m sitting on the couch with my almost-3-year-old watching Mickey Mouse when I start aggressively scratching my lower back. “Don’t scratch, don’t scratch! Ruuuub,” my daughter told me, rubbing her leg softy with her hand to show me how to do it. What?! How does my toddler know about the itch-scratch cycle? Daycare sure does prepare toddlers for the real world!

Thinking back, Nina has probably noticed my scratching, flared spots, blood and scabs. It’s time for me to be more careful about how I treat my body when I’m in front of Nina, as well as be more transparent about my eczema condition. My little baby is getting more mature every day!

What NOT to Wear

Jewelry. I cannot wear any jewelry. Okay, I’m being dramatic. I can’t wear 90% of the jewelry available in the world. Beautiful, colorful, jewelry. Accessories that make me feel good and help my outfits look better. Woe is me.

A few months ago, I splurged and bought a custom 14K solid gold name necklace. I’m allergic to fake, copper and metal jewelry and had given up on buying trendy costume jewelry. Spoiler: it didn’t work out.

Within the first day, I got a little tingle on my neck. Then, it was more than a tingle. I knew it was the necklace, but I didn’t want to believe it. How could it be?! It was solid gold! A few times, I took the necklace off and tried again a few days later, still in denial. Last week, I stubbornly ignored my body and kept the necklace on my neck. Not a good idea.

My skin worsened until I couldn’t take it anymore. It got better (thankfully!) a few days later with the help of Protopic ointment. I felt ridiculous. I risked my skin’s health over a necklace.

But it was solid gold! Here’s the deal - I learned that 14K isn’t actually pure gold, because it is still mixed with metals. 24K is 99.9% pure gold, but it is very malleable. Maybe 18K is good enough for my skin, but I’m not sure I want to spend the money to find out.

Last weekend was my birthday and I stumbled across an all-rubber necklace at the Museum of Fine Arts. I splurged and purchased it - I have to support artists that make plastic or rubber jewelry, because it’s so hard to find!

I think sterling silver may be okay for me, but I don’t know at this point and prefer gold anyway. Who knows if I can wear 18K gold. For now, I’m going to give my skin a break and stay clear of jewelry … unless it’s made of all rubber or plastic.

A New Lipstick

I got a new lipstick.
I’m not wearing it.
My skin reacted to my new lipstick.
My sister is getting a new lipstick.

Skin Status: 3 Months Post Baby

My baby boy was born 3 months ago. I had a skin-healthy pregnancy with mild-to-moderate eczema. Since giving birth, my eczema has stayed in the mild to moderate range, leaning more on the moderate range.

Possible Protopic Withdrawal Effects

I wonder if my worsened skin is a reaction to my hormone changes or my having to back off a bit from using Protopic. I still used Protopic the last three months, but was low on it for about 2-3 weeks. I’ve since gone back to liberally using Protopic and my skin has been improving. I’ve heard Protopic causes withdrawal effects; it’s something that makes me nervous.

Skin Condition

In the last two months, I’ve been flared up on my forearms, triceps, elbows, shoulder blades, lower back, hips, hamstrings, calves and ankles. There’s bleeding, painful showers and through-the-night scratching, but my face has stayed healthy, so I am grateful.

Current Eczema Treatment

I’m still only on Protopic and I don’t plan on backing off at this time. I don’t want to go back to Dupixent yet if Protopic is keeping my skin from having severe eczema. I worry about Protopic side effects, but also worry about Dupixent side effects. Eczema is an autoimmune condition. I don’t think I’m going to like any medications, because they suppress my immune system and the immune system has a very important job. That said, I don’t want to live with severe eczema. It’s a dangerous game of balance that I am playing. For now, I will not change things and will keep putting my trust on Protopic (as I bite my fingernails nervously).

A Letter to My New Dry Patch

Hi there, 

I noticed you a few days ago. You landed on my face, under my left eye, and haven’t left. I have to say, I’m uncomfortable with you staying so long. I’d rather not see you at all, but definitely not for more than two days. You’re probably thinking, “What’s the big deal? I’m tiny and basically unnoticeable.” Well, I know your game. You’ll make yourself at home and get louder every day. You’ll get bigger and bolder.

At your worst, you’ll be noticed by everyone I meet and you’ll be itchy, oozy, red and swollen. And then you’ll bring your friends and they’ll cozy up on my face as well. Eventually, you will all take over my face, inhabiting it for months or even longer.

I don’t want you on my face and want you to leave. You can go to any other spot on my body. How about my left arm next to my super red, itchy and bumpy tricep? Or maybe my lower back where you stayed for a few years and left a permanent reminder through darker skin pigmentation. Seriously, you can go anywhere but my face.

I hope you respect my wishes and leave before it’s too late. I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready.